- What is that? - It's a stink bomb.
Got it from the guy in the office. Cost me $ 175.
I can get this for five bucks online, I know it.
You're gonna set that off in the RV?
He assured me it's not toxic. Just noxious, like Grandpa Ted.
Don't litter.
Suck on this, Rocky.
Yeah!
Run, critters.
Yeah, there's more where that came from, you little bandits.
Yeah!
I'm not so ill-equipped to handle an emergency as some people may think.
- No one said you were ill-equipped. - You know it, baby.
How long does this last?
Up to six hours.
It's a beautiful evening. Let's sit outside and enjoy nature.
Why don't we huddle under the awning?
Oh, we can't. Dad tore it off back in Nevada.
Well, why don't we just get underneath the umbrella?
Oh, that's right. Dad fed it to the raccoons.
- Please, try the office again. - No, he's an idiot.
He won't let us in. He charged me $ 70 for these bags.
What about that bar we passed on the way up here?
- Yeah, Dad, pizza. - And a roof.
No, it's dark out there. Besides, those raccoons could be waiting.
Hey! I can see it. It's just down there.
Come on, I'm starving.
- Bob? - It's a bad idea.
It's just down the...
Carl!
Carl, we're coming!
Bob!
Mom!
Jamie!
Bob!
Table for four. No smoking.
Wipe your feet.
See? That's why you should study.
So you can get good grades and go to a big party school.
Hey, Dad, how come you never got a pool table for the house?
Because of the generalissimo over there.
We had one before you were born, in the dining room...
...but then you get a job, invite people for dinner...
...you have a family... - Life used to be fun.
It was fun. But then something happened that was a lot more fun.
We got the George Foreman smokeless grill.
Okay.
It's fine. Let's just go to sleep.
Dad.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, great, you're up. Will you make the coffee?
- Love to. - Thank you.
Do you want me to drive?
- You okay, Dad? - Oh, yeah.
Dad, emergency!
Gornickes.
I'll get their computer.
I feel like that hitchhiker in The Twilight Zone.
What do they like about us? We're not even that appealing.
I'm not gonna spend my life...
...going door to door, selling musical car horns.
- The Gornickes. I'll flag them down. - Cassie!
She got him.
Munros!
Bob! Jamie!
It's the Gornickes.
- Pretend to talk to me. - Oh, yeah.
Pull over! We've got your stuff!
Munros. It's the Gornickes.
Pull over. We have your computer.
And a Happy Max bag. Pull over.
Kids, grab your paint guns.
Pull ahead. We'll put one across their bow.
You know, seeing you drive this thing is really turning me on.
What?
They've got guns!
We've also got...
You can come up now.
Where did you learn to drive like that?
How do you think I get the kids to school on time?
What a shame. If we had their address, we could just ship it to them.
Well, we do know where they're headed.
Mount Watson, Colorado.
You know, if you wore clothes that fit...
...you wouldn't look like a 10-year-old. - It's how I roll.
Oh, sweet.
You say something, Frodo?
I was just saying how that guy Shaq'd you there.
- We got two-on-two, right? - Why don't you find...
...an under-2-foot league.
Why don't you trade that thing in on top of your neck for a face.
I'm gonna floss your rear.
- Let's go, bring it. Come on. - Yo, my mobile homeboys.
- What's tripping in the wood? - This termite belong to you?
- Don't call... - Yo, my man... Easy.
This my man, C. He's small, but ferocious.
But you dogs, you're hardcore. Where you from?
- Scottsdale. - Scottsdale, in the 'Zona.
That's a hardcore 'hood.
But you want to take on my man C, here...
...go ahead, because, you know...
...he's fierce, he gonna come up in your face...
...he'll damage you. You gonna walk away, maybe limp.
But I say talk to the hand, call waiting, because he's out. Boy is out.
I can't restrains him. Because I'm conversating you right now...
...to give him a chance to cool down, to get back to a realistic level...
...as we were. Because we could be chilling in our crib.
Not just on this mobile home thing, representing Malibu...
...and Westwood, you know.
Malling it, like we all can. Boys to mensch.
Pimp my Mercedes, call me back...
...put you on hold. You know what I'm saying?
We gotta go.
You better, man. Don't make me call my lawyer, because I'll audit.
Arert you glad Dad came? They were about to kick your butt.
Carl. That's not helpful. Carl.
Carl.
It occurs to me that you and I haven't had too many...
...7 th Heaven kind of dialogues in the last year.
- You're busy a lot. - Yeah, but not too busy to notice...
...that you are sensitive about your size.
I'll bet you $ 1000 right now you'll grow up bigger than me.
I've seen pictures of you when you were my age. You were huge.
- You were shaving already. - Yeah, well, that's my point.
See, I achieved maturity very early.
I stopped growing after the eighth grade.
But you have the other body type. You're like my friend John Vigoshi.
When he was 16, he had a 9-inch summer.
How do you mean that?
He grew very tall, very quickly, and so will you.
And you're being proactive. You're lifting weights.
And when you grow up big, you know what we'll do?
What?
We'll enter father-son extreme-fighting competitions.
- All right. - You'll have to push the wheelchair.
But we'll get them high, and we'll get them low.
Coming at you a little heat right now.
Give me a little heat there. A little heat. A little pepper there.
Hike! All right.
What's up?
Kids, dinner's gonna be a little late because...
Sorry. False alarm.
- The buzzing is not me. - Bob.
- Hello. - Before you hang up on me again...
...we need to talk.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you very well.
Signal. No, no. Yeah.
Hold on one second. The signal.
Just a... Can you hear me now?
- Hey, Todd. Did you get the proposal? - Not bad.
My Laird didn't like it very much.
- Who cares what Laird thinks. - I do. He's young, Bob.
We'll talk about it tonight on the plane.
- No. - No?
I flew in last night. It's a mile high here and I want to get acclimated.
You don't wanna have a nose bleed in a presentation.
Could be a little embarrassing.
So I'll see you there. Here.
Mom, he's suffering.
Honey, can I help?
No, honey. No, don't come down here.
Boy, I'm just gonna try and clean up a little...
Don't use bark.
These are great.
Yeah, there it is. That does the trick.
Ferns. Nature's broom.
Honey, no. You can't go on like this. It's 10 miles.
No, I don't wanna spoil it for you guys.
- You won't. We'll go tomorrow. - No.
Tomorrow we go to the lake.
Listen, I'll stay here. You go on.
- I don't know... - Go. It's a beautiful hike.
Guys?
Come on, kids.
Yeah? Okay.
Good.
I'll try and make it back to the RV.
I'm okay. Got my ferns.
Okay. I'm okay.
Go on. Go on, you guys. Save yourself. Okay.
Welcome to the RoadMate 700.
Hi, Lola. My wife's not here.
- The hell are you driving? - Cadillac of RVs, Todd.
You know, we should go over... Laird.
Yeah, I decided to go with Laird's presentation.
- But hang around, tell a few jokes. - You got it.
Hi there.
- Larry Moiphine. - Garry Moiphine.
- Cute dog. - Oh, yeah. She's a sweetie.
Oh, yeah, who's a good girl?
- Todd? - No.
- Bob. - Hi, Bob.
- Laird. - Hi, Laird.
Larry. Laird.
So, fellas, we'll have a little nosh and we'll hear your presentation.
- Tammy's not here yet. Our assistant. - So we'll eat slow.
- Come on. - Gentlemen.
Oh, hi. Hi. Sorry I'm late.
You guys have all just got to see the circus before it leaves.
- It's good, huh? - It was amazing.
Wow, so...
Oh, of course. I believe you folks have a presentation for us.
- Yes. Laird. - Good luck.
In 1985, Pure Vibe soda completed a friendly takeover...
...of Mr. Twinkle Iced Tea. Today, Mr. Twinkle is won'th...
...an estimated $91 million.
And that was with a profit definition not as favorable...
...as the one Pure Vibe is offering...
...AIpine Soda. If you turn to chart number one...
Sorry, is this just gonna be about money?
No, it's... Stocks.
Other than money, why should we change from a local...
...family-oriented business to become subsidiary to a national brand?
Yeah. Other than money?
- Right. - Yeah.
Garry, Larry.
Fifty years ago, if you walked down any street in America...
...on a warm Monday night... Thanks, Laird.
- You'd hear I Love Lucy coming out of every house, on every block.
I'm not speaking about conformity, I'm talking about "Isn't it great?"
And every once in a while...
...America falls in love with something together.
That could happen here. You have a terrific product.
Money aside, how'd Walter Frederick Morrison feel...
...every time he walked by a park and he'd see people...
...throwing a Frisbee and the dog doing all the work?
If Pure Vibe takes Alpine national, I think we have a chance...
...to let America fall in love with something again.
What's your hurry? Why don't you stay and bask in my gratitude?
I gotta get the RV back right now, Todd...
...or I have to pay for a full day.
- Well, just picture me hugging you. - Thanks.
Officer? Excuse me. What's going on?
Landslide. We're diverting through l-70.
L-70? It'll take hours. Isn't there another way around Mount Watson?
Diablo Pass. But you're not gonna make it in that rig.
Dad was right. This is really amazing.
Yeah. Poor Dad.
Should we cut this short and go back?
- Yeah. - Okay.
You are not on any marked road.
I know that, Lola.
Make a U-turn at the next legal opportunity.
I can't.
Squeeze them cheeks Tighten them buns
Come on now We having fun
Big old rolling turd coming through Coming through
- You are not on any marked road. - Shut up!
Come on, Turd. Keep rolling. Come on. Come on.
You can do it.
Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Damn it.
Make a U-turn at the next legal opportunity.
Dad's gonna be surprised we got back so soon.
Yeah.
Who was that maniac?
Oh, God.
Bob?
- Jamie. - Why are you laying on the ground?
Honey, there's something I need to tell you.
I need...
Needed a...
Needed a little fresh air.
After my incident.
And how are you now?
Good.
Really good. Good.
Oh, yeah.
- Hello? - Bob? Bob-orino? Bobcat?
- Yeah? - Teeny tiny wrinkle-dinkle.
Larry wants you to come back tomorrow...
...and pitch the whole company, all the employees.
Majority want the merger, it's a done deal.
- What? - We don't need him.
I can do this. Give me another chance. Let me kick this through the uprights!
- I'll do it. I'm there. - Great. You're spitting on me.
Big old rolling turd coming through Coming through
Oh, we're on that road On a big, steaming load
Big old rolling turd coming through Coming through
Big old rolling turd Big old rolling turd coming through
Hey, Dad. Maybe we can go to Yellowstone on the way home.
- I'd love to go to Yellowstone. - Yeah, Dad. Can we?
Absolutely.
Come on. I wanna show you something wonderful.
It's hard to forget this place.
My dad was so moved by it he said:
"You know, a snack stand up here would do tremendous."
My mom, always supportive: "And who's gonna run it, Allan, you?"
My dad: "Why don't you blow it out your big, saggy rear end, Ellen."
Can't buy memories like that.
Or like this.
Hey. You know, I should take the RV to get the emergency brake fixed...
...before we head to L.A. - Yeah. Good idea.
And you guys don't want to hang around some dingy garage.
You wait here by the lake, enjoy the view.
I'll drive to Boulder, be back in an hour. We'll have a big picnic.
- How about that? - Okay. Sounds good.
Guys? Tell your dad what you wanted to tell him.
- Thank you for taking us on this trip. - Kinko that.
- Better than Hawaii? - Yeah, better than Hawaii.
Come give big daddy a hug. Come on.
- Wait. - Carl, you'll be too big soon.
- Dad. - Cassie'll be in college.
- Dad! - What?
The RV's rolling away.
No!
Oh, God, no.
- Oh, no! - Dad, let it go!
Bob. Bob!
- Bob! - Mom, what are you doing?
Bob, no!
Go.
Are you crazy? It's a rental.
- How am I gonna get to the meeting? - What meeting?
The Alpine merger.
Sweetheart, you'll never guess what happened yesterday.
- You werert really sick. - Not really.
This is about work.
You brought us out here because it was close to a meeting?
- You're getting warmer. - The Alpine soda merger.
- Bingo. - So you lied to me...
...from the very beginning. - Since we were first married?
No, since when you first brought home the RV.
- That time, yeah. - This has nothing to do...
...with you wanting to be with your family.
- So you just used us? - You wouldn't understand, missy.
Oh, I don't know, she's pretty smart.
Why don't you explain it to her. And Carl too.
Kids...
...life is hard.
Not "The TiVo in my room is not working" hard.
But " making a living because you're responsible for people you love" hard.
You know what it's like to be 50, people are digging a hole...
...to bury your career... - Bob.
All right, that's a little rough.
Cassie, where do you want to go to college?
Stanford.
Carl, where's that camp you're going?
- Alaska. - Alaska.
And you, how much do you think that little fixer-upper of ours cost?
Who has to ride a $4000 bicycle?
I have to ride a custom bike because my hips aren't aligned.
Are you happy? Now the kids know that their old mars a freak.
Listen, I have to get to that meeting, or I lose my job and we lose a lifestyle.
Let's pull it up two-by-two, look for help.
- Carl. Come with me. - I'm good.
Cassie?
I'm gonna lose my job. I hope the kids like selling fruit on the freeway.
You know what's scary is that this is rush hour.
Mom, there's never going to be any other cars on this road.
Oh, my God.
- Where's your husband? - Don't ask.
Could you possibly take us to an airport?
What's all this?
Oh, I gotta study for my stupid placement test.
Oh, like some sort of vocational training?
College.
- How old are you? - Fifteen and a half. I jumped a grade.
Moon, though, she skipped two grades.
So...
...you guys are smart.
Gonna be unemployed.
I'm gonna have to sell my liver for cash.
And then he just rode out of the lake.
Yup. This one really snuck up and bit me right on the seat-meat.
I thought Bob was good people.
- Does anybody have a vomit bag? - Are you sick?
Big time. Cassie and Earl are making out.
What?
Don't worry. I got them in the mirror.
Boy don't know what the hell he's doing.
- Like father, like son. - Hey.
Listen, I have to admit something.
Bob wasrt the only one trying to avoid you. I was too.
I don't mean to shock you, but we ain't everybody's cup of sunshine.
Well, it was you, but it was mostly us.
You didn't exactly catch the Munros at their best.
Yeah, see, I had a feeling you was having troubles.
Yeah, here's the thing.
You start off happy and stupid.
Then you become associates in the marriage business:
"Did the plumber come?" "Take Carl to soccer."
"I'll pick up your dad from the doctor's office."
Until you don't remember what brought you together in the first place.
You know what I mean?
No, I don't. L... No.
No.
Okay.
Anyway, in the last few days, I caught a glimpse of the old us.
And I was happy.
I better get directions...
...so I can take you folks where you need to be.
Oh, really?
Jamie!
Cassie! Carl!
Come on, let's hit the road, Jamie.
Okay.
Oh, God.
- Ladies first. - Oh, boy, that's working it.
Stop!
Oh, Munro!
The hike was so intense...
...there was a few parts where I had to carry my mom and sister.
I think I might have pulled a muscle.
- Where? - In the woods.
Travis!
Jamie.
Bob?
Are you an idiot? Do you want your children to see their father...
...bouncing down the highway?
Why are you with the Partridge Family?
- What are you doing on the bus? - Because I was chasing you.
You win. I blew off my job because I can't live without you. You happy?
I never asked you to blow off your job. I wanted you to be honest with me.
Honest. Like, "Todd's gonna fire me if I go to Boulder" honest?
- "Screw Hawaii" honest? - Oh, I see.
You think that if you told me you were in trouble...
...and your job was in jeopardy, that I'd give you a hard time about it?
No crying, that's cheating.
Do you think I'm some horrible witch that doesn't care? I do care!
I care a lot.
In fact, I hate you. Jerk.
I didn't want you to know I was in trouble.
You and Cassie and Carl, you mean everything to me.
What you think about me is the most important thing in the world.
I didn't want to fail.
If you don't know how I feel about you after 19 years of marriage...
...then I must be a failure as a wife.
Then you admit you're the problem.
Bob.
You mean more to me than just a paycheck.
That's good, because we won't be getting one for a while.
I missed that meeting.
No, you didn't.
Come on, Bob. Come here.
It's a Christmas miracle.
No, it just sounded like this was where your wife needed to be.
So I brought her.
Travis has never been one to mind his own business.
Travis...
...some of my behavior on this trip might be misconstrued as an insult.
Did come off a tad abrasive.
I was wrong, and it takes a small man to admit it.
And you're a big man.
- I don't just mean... - I understand a metaphor, Bob.
See, I went to Stanford.
You big lug, I love you!
Who loves his big lug?
- I love you, you big... - I know, l...
- Todd. - Little dramatic, don't you think, Bob?
Showing up at the last possible minute.
You look horrible. Let's go.
Dad.
- I'm sorry. - Sorry?
I guess you're under a lot of pressure and I could have been less trouble.
And in your own nerdy way you're kind of cool.
- Bob? - Yeah?
I'm hating this.
- Dad. - Yeah?
- I get it. - What?
Sometimes if you wanna succeed, you have to do what they tell you.
- You... - Bob!
This is the big one, Bobcat.
- Bases loaded. - Got it.
You hit a grand slam on this, it's big raise, promotion, bonus...
...and I personally push Laird down a flight of stairs.
Everybody, this is Bob. Remember, charming and funny.
Hi, everybody. Sorry I'm late...
...I just came down that mountain, and next time I'll use a road.
I guess you guys didn't get the memo about extreme casual.
I love your wilderness so much, I decided to wear it.
Easy, Todd.
It's been kind of a wild journey getting here.
If you ever wanna really find out about yourself...
...put your family in an RV and drive.
I've seen some amazing stuff.
I've fought wild raccoons and won. I've been in the desert to a place...
...where it's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.
And I met this weird family.
I mean, boy, they were strange.
You know, whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.
In the dictionary, under "hootenanny," it says, "See: Them."
But you know what's strange about them.
They're just honest, good people, and it's an honor to have them as friends.
Garry, Larry...
...this is a nice company you have here. It's your baby.
I bet at the birth of your baby you were kind of scared, right?
Excited, but scared. You didn't know how it was gonna turn out.
And next thing you know, it's up and walking...
...and you're trying to raise it. You didn't know what you were doing...
...but you pretended like you did.
And next thing you know, your baby's grown.
It's bigger, older. More complicated.
Difficult to deal with.
But here's the deal...
...you care about it just as much, because you nurtured it...
...and part of you is in it, and you're proud of it.
You love it more than ever.
And right now, you have to make a decision...
...of whether you wanna merge your family with the Pure Vibe family.
Your stocks are gonna split. You're gonna have money...
...you won't know what to do with. And your company's gonna grow.
You'll be bigger than a woman in bicycle shorts at Disneyland.
You'll be able to get all that stuff, like the ski boat, a $4000 bike...
...maybe even a Barcalounger...
...that massages your ass and blows smoke at the same time.
Bottom line here, Garry, Larry.
If you wanna merge Alpine and Pure Vibe...
...I promise you, you're making the worst decision of your entire life.
This guy is a disgruntled employee.
Couldrt keep up with younger talent. Look at him. He's off his meds.
Finished. His own daughter assaulted me in my home.
I did not. It was my friend, and she did it because Pure Vibe...
...has one of the worst environmental records in the industry.
Why are these kids here?
Plus, last year you guys outsourced for cheaper labor to other countries...
Let her go, Todd.
I'll let her go. I'll let you go.
You're fired.
Yo, dog.
- Carl. - My hero.
Todd, I quit.
Honey, there seems to be snow on the ground.
Babe, it's left over from last winter. At 9500 feet...
...it doesn't melt. It's glacial.
- We don't have chains. - Don't need them.
They're for the winter, not July.
Well, I see snow.
Hey, Dad, are we poor?
Carl, there's a lot of ways to measure a family's wealth.
- I think love... - I was talking about money.
- We're dirt poor. - Sell the house.
We could all live in the Big Rolling Turd.
We'll spend every minute together, just like the Gornickes.
- That just sounds fantastic. - Oh, yeah.
- Chains. Four-wheel drive. - Thanks.
Officer, good day. I know what you're gonna say: "Where are your chains?"
Well, sir, this is no ordinary RV.
It's part ATV, part SUV, and certified by the DMV.
It's got positraction, Dynaflow, control traction with me in control.
It's got heated rims. Wish I had those.
Okay.
License and registration, sir.
Oh, there it is.
I believe that was the rental agreement.
We had a little bit of a mishap at the lake.
I lost my wallet. My name is Bob Munro.
We got him. We're just ahead of you.
Got me?
Officer, I know she may look unsafe, but she's tough.
She likes to be rode hard and put away wet.
Spent two days in the lake. Had to fish her out.
It means a lot. We couldn't abandon it.
It's like a big, ugly pet, really.
You got him. Thanks, Sam.
- We owe you one. - We've been chasing you all morning.
I just took one soda.
No, we just want you to know we're going national.
- Well, good luck. - With you.
We want you to join us at Alpine Beverages.
- You're offering me a job? - Yeah.
- Yes, he'll take it. - She's a tough negotiator.
You just really seem to get us, like a harmonic convergence.
- Dad, you forgot something. - Baby...
...don't interrupt daddy's new bosses. - Sure, but the RV's rolling away.